Bid on My Love
by alwaysthinkingofyou
Summary: Oneshot. "I am NOT auctioning myself off to the entire female population of Forks High School!" Alice and Jessica have a date auction to raise money for a field trip at school. Who will bid on Edward? E/B


**Nothing is mine.**

**First Twilight story. Go easy on me, please.**

**What: **Bid on My Love  
**Who:** Edward/Bella, Alice, Jessica, Cullen brothers, Mike.  
**When:** I guess it is AU-ish. Set in those months when Edward ignored Bella.  
**Where:** Forks, Washington  
**Why:** I was watching that episode of Full House where the men are being auctioned off and Becky bids on Jesse. I was inspired. (:

--

If you were to ask Jessica Stanley what the best thing about boys is, she'd say looks. Then she'd prattle for three hours on what did and didn't look good on boys. And if you didn't doze off during her chatter and actually paid attention to her, you'd notice that most of the pro's on the Boys' Pro's and Con's list she'd give you strangely described Mike Newton. Curious.

"I know, right? Someone should tell him that Aéropostale is not for him," she giggled, eyes locked critically on a cute, blond sophomore wearing a tight, red Aéropostale shirt. "Now maybe if he wore it at least one size bigger, it'd look good, like…" Her eyes trailed onto Mike for a quick second before searching for a new boy to criticize.

"How about Cameron Lansford?" Angela asked nicely, trying to hide her chagrin for being picked to listen to Jess's shallow commenting.

"Uh, not today," Jess answered, scrunching up her nose.

"He doesn't look so bad," Angela muttered for Cody's benefit.

"Yeah, but I mean, look at his jeans. He should get them a size _smaller._ I like baggy jeans on guys, but c'mon, they're practically falling off his butt." She shook her head and sighed.

Before Angela could say anything, the intercom crackled loudly, silencing the cafeteria.

"Will Jessica Stanley and Alice Cullen please report to the office?" Mrs. Cope's voice rang through the lunch room.

Jess turned her head toward the Cullen table to see Alice Cullen jumping out of her seat with a beaming smile. In front of her, Edward Cullen was shaking his head with a grimace while all their siblings looked at them questioningly.

Alice skipped gracefully to the double doors and yanked them open. Then she turned to look expectantly at Jessica, who was barely making her way across the cafeteria.

"I wonder what that's all about," Angela mumbled softly.

--

If you were to ask Principal Greene what the best thing about high school students was, he'd say their ability to raise money for the school. And for his shiny new sports car. But you should keep that last part to yourself.

"Girls," he began, skipping the greetings, "I don't know if you remember, but in the beginning of the school year I mentioned that if the juniors had a good, non-problematic year, I'd arrange for the kids to have a field trip to Seattle for lunch. Now, we did have a good year, but I'm afraid we don't have enough money. So since you guys earned this trip, I decided that we could have a fund raiser so you can go."

"What kind of fund raiser?" Jessica asked. She glanced beside her at Alice, who was still beaming weirdly.

"That's what you girls are here for," Principal Greene said. "You're in charge of coming up with a good fund raiser."

Jess gasped excitedly; Alice's expression did not change.

"Oh Em Gee," Jess squealed. She turned to Alice. "We could do some kind of auction date! The girls can bid on the guys here at school! Oh, it'll be so much fun!" she gushed.

Alice's smile grew impossibly bigger. "It sounds perfect! I'll talk my brothers into it."

Jessica nodded, now grinning as well. "I can't wait!" She turned back to the principal. "Thank you, Mr. Greene! We promise we won't let you down!"

"Good!" Principal Greene smiled. Then under his breath, he added to himself, "'Cause I need some leather seat covers for my car."

--

If you were to ask Alice Cullen what the best thing about boys is, she'd say how easy they were to wrap around her little finger. With the exception of Edward Cullen, of course.

"No."

"But Eddie," Alice whined, "it'll be fun! And any leftover money will go to charity!"

"You know Principal Greene is just going to spend the leftover money on seat covers for his car," Edward pointed out.

"I consider him a charity," Alice said coolly.

"No," Edward repeated.

Alice huffed. "You must be dead inside. Think of your graduating class! We've all worked hard for this!"

"Well, what are we going to be doing on this trip?" Edward asked. "We don't eat."

"But we're going to Seattle!" Alice said.

"You go to Seattle every other weekend," he told her.

Alice frowned. "Listen Eddie, this can be easy—"

"Or it can be hard," Edward finished. "And don't call me Eddie."

"—but one way or another, you are going to participate. I know, because I saw it."

"I didn't make any decision to take part in this."

Alice smirked. "Oh, _Eddie. _Since when does your decision matter to me?"

--

If you were to ask Bella Swan what the best thing about living with her dad is, she'd say how… not nosy he was. Unless it came to boys.

"So Bells," Charlie said that evening during dinner, "I heard about that Date Auction being held at your school."

"Of course you did," Bella muttered under her breath; Forks knew nothing of privacy.

"And you're going?" Chief Swan was failing miserably at the whole 'playing it cool' thing.

"Uh, I guess." Bella fidgeted in her seat. "But I'm not going to bid. Even if I wanted to, which I _don't_"—she threw in quickly for Charlie's benefit—"I'm pretty broke."

"What about that money you had saved for your car in Phoenix?" Charlie probed, not really buying Bella's denial in wanting to participate in the bidding. "I know you've been adding to it."

"I'd really rather just keep that saved, you know, for emergencies." Bella chewed the inside of her mouth nervously.

"Yeah," Charlie agreed, relaxing slightly, "you should. Just in case." They lapsed back into a silent dinner.

--

If you were to ask Rosalie Hale what the best thing about boys is, she'd tell you their smile.

"Hey Rose," Emmett called.

"Yes?" Rosalie answered, turning her attention away from the car she was tinkering with.

"Alice wants me to volunteer for an Auction Date thingy, and I kinda said yeah," he said slowly. "What do you think?"

If it were possible, Rosalie's face would've been tomato red with fury. "You _what_!?!"

"It's for her field trip," Emmett explained nervously. "It'll be fun."

"Why did you agree to this before talking to me about it?" Rosalie screeched.

"I didn't think it would be a problem," Emmett lied. "Sorry." He flashed Rose his charming smile.

A little dazed, Rosalie shook her head to focus. But she couldn't remember what they had been talking about.

"So can I help Alice?" Emmett asked, still smiling.

Rosalie nodded helplessly. "Sure, sure. Why not?"

Emmett planted a big kiss on her lips. "Thanks, baby!"

Rosalie shrugged. "Um, hey Emmett? What are you helping her with, again?"

--

If you were to ask Angela Weber what the best thing about boys is, she'd say their humor.

"Hey, Jess, Alice," she greeted. "Uh, hey… Edward." She glanced nervously at Alice's brother, who was scowling deeply into space.

Edward raised his chin a fraction of an inch to acknowledge her greeting and kept scowling at nothing.

Alice shot him a pointed look and smiled apologetically at Angela. "He's a little upset right now."

"He changed his mind about volunteering?" Angela guessed.

Alice suppressed a smile. "Something like that."

Edward grimaced, but said nothing.

"It won't be so bad, Edward," Angela said soothingly. "It's only one night."

Edward turned his head to face Alice. "I'm going to dismantle you and mail each piece to a different part of the world," he stated darkly. "And I'll arrange for someone to bury each piece at least six feet underground. Let's see Jasper put you back together then."

Angela and Jess each shot a confused and slightly frightened look at Alice, who didn't look the least bit bothered by her brother's comment. She examined her nails nonchalantly, as if she hadn't heard his threat.

After a while, Angela started laughing. "Ha ha ha, good one, Edward!" She turned to Alice, still giggling. "Your brother is hilarious!"

Jessica's appalled face turned to one of understanding and she laughed along with Angela.

Alice smiled. "Yeah, he's a riot. I mean, he _knows_ Jasper wouldn't let him get that close to me when he's so furious." She playfully smacked Edward on the shoulder. "You are so silly, Eddie!"

Angela and Jess stopped laughing when they saw the seriousness in the short girl's eyes. Maybe Alice didn't know Edward was kidding.

--

**6:00 p.m.**

"All right, students of Forks High!" Jessica said into the microphone. Everybody was gathered in the cafeteria. "Welcome to our fund raising date auction!"

All the girls cheered and screamed, except for Rosalie who was sitting in one of the tables grimacing.

Jess moved aside so Alice could speak next. "Thank you so much coming tonight! Remember, all money will help make our field trip to Seattle the best experience we've ever had! And if by any chance there's some money left over, it will go to a good charity in Washington."

"You mean Principal Greene?" someone shouted in the back of the lunch room.

"Exactly." Alice smiled. "So let's get started!" She stepped back and let Jess take the spotlight once more.

"Now, our first person up for auction is…" She waited for a drum roll. "Ross Freeman! Give it up for him, everyone!" She gestured to a lanky, red-headed boy who was hunched over and wore round, Harry Potter glasses. He sniffed once and waved to the audience feebly.

No one made a sound.

"Bidding starts at ten dollars!"

No one moved an inch.

Jessica sighed. "Girls, Ross's family is the second richest family in Forks! Bid on him and not only will he supply your dress, shoes, and take you to an expensive restaurant in Seattle, but he'll have your all your homework done and ready to turn in by the following morning."

One girl raised her hand slowly in the front. "I've got two dollars and a pack of Juicy Fruit."

Alice shoved Jessica aside. "Sold!"

--

**6:30 p.m.**

"I've got six bucks!" Alexandria Marra yelled.

Alice groaned. "Girls, the bidding starts at _ten _dollars!"

"But his shirt is sticking out of his fly," Alexandria pointed out, eying the next boy up for bidding—a freshman with oily, uncared for hair who was holding an inhaler with a shaky hand. "Fine, I'll give you twelve bucks."

"Take him!" Jess pushed the boy off the stage. "Sold!"

--

**7:00 p.m.**

"Does the laptop come with 'im?" Ashley Dawson asked.

Alice and Jess glanced at the tech-geek who was typing away at his computer. They shrugged. "Sure."

"I'll give you sixty dollars, then."

"Sold!"

--

**7:30 p.m.**

"Next up is Mike Newton!" Alice announced. She smiled, pleased as quite a few hands shot up; now that the town geeks were taken care of, the auction could really begin. "You know the drill, bidding starts at twenty dollars."

"You said ten," a girl shouted.

Alice pulled her eyebrows together in false confusion. "Are you sure? I think you heard wrong. It's twenty dollars."

"I've only got forty-five," Lacey, an air-headed sophomore with an annoyingly high-pitched voice said in the front. "Is that okay?"

Alice and Jessica exchanged a pleased glance. "We'll take it. Sold!"

"Unbelievable," Mike muttered. "The tech-geek got more money than me."

"That's because he came with the laptop," Alice told him.

In the audience, the tech-geek finally looked up, horrified. "You mean I've gotta give up Ilene? That wasn't part of the deal!"

"You've gotta give the audience what they want," Jess said matter-of-factly. "Next!"

--

**9:30 p.m.**

"Now for our last items of the evening!" Jess smiled devilishly at the three remaining boys. "The Cullen brothers!"

Every hand in the room shot up.

"Fifty!" one yelled.

"Sixty-eight!" another countered.

"Seventy-six dollars and twenty-eight cents! ...And a coupon for Campbell's Soup!"

"A hundred dollars and my favorite bra!"

"Okay, okay!" Alice shushed everyone. "First up is Emmett Cullen. Bidding starts at fifty dollars."

All hands shot up wordlessly.

"Sixty?"

The hands stayed up.

Jess reached for the microphone. "A hundred and fifty."

Every hand went down but one.

"Sold to Dallas Andrews!"

"Whoo!" Dallas exclaimed, not noticing the death glare Rosalie was shooting at her.

Alice giggled. "Next up is Jasper—"

"A hundred and seventy!"

"A hundred and seventy going once? Twice? Sold to Jordan Evans!"

"I promise you won't be disappointed, baby!" Jordan blew a kiss to Jasper, who suppressed a grimace.

"And lastly, Edward Cullen!" Alice clapped along with the crowd, beaming at her reluctant brother. "Bidding starts at—"

"One thousand dollars!"

All girls gasped and whipped their heads to search for the person who made such a high bidding.

Alice rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Will you people stop cutting me off?"

By the double doors, Lauren Mallory stood with devilish smirk.

Wide-eyed, Jessica forced her head back to the audience. "O-one thousand dollars… going once? Twice?"

"One thousand and forty!" Delilah Woods raised her hand bravely.

Lauren gave her a menacing glare. "Eleven hundred."

"Twelve!" Amanda Johnston waved her hand.

"Fourteen hundred!" Lauren barked. Both girls put their hands down in defeat.

"Fourteen hundred going once—"

"Fifteen hundred!" Everyone turned to look at Bella Swan, who was flushing madly.

"Sixteen," Lauren countered, deadpan.

"Seventeen."

"Eighteen."

"Nineteen hundred… and sixty-two cents," Bella said confidently.

"_Nineteen _hundred dollars?" Jessica's jaw dropped.

"And sixty-two cents," Bella added softly.

"Going once?" Jess looked at Lauren.

"Forget it!" Lauren scoffed. "I would never be able to explain two thousand dollars to my parents." She stamped out of the cafeteria.

"Sold to Bella Swan for one thousand, nine hundred dollars!" Alice declared.

"And sixty-two cents," Jess whispered in her ear.

Bella smiled uncomfortably as everyone clapped politely, her face turning redder. What had she just done?

Edward gazed at Bella incredulously; the girl he's been trying so desperately to avoid had just offered to pay nineteen hundred dollars (and sixty-two cents) to go on a date with him. Did she really have no sense of self-preservation?

"And that's it for tonight—" Jess was pushed aside by Alice.

"Jasper, you are _not_ weaseling yourself out of this one!" Alice snapped into the microphone. "You promised! You're going on this da—Jasper! Don't you dare walk away from me!" She waved at the audience sweetly. "Have a good night!" And she took off running after Jasper, who had already disappeared out of the lunch room.

Edward walked off the stage awkwardly and made his way to Bella.

Bella forced herself to speak. "Hi."

Edward flashed his crooked smile. "Hello." He sighed softly. "So, where would you like to go for our date?"

Yet another blush colored Bella's cheeks. "You know, you really don't have to—"

"You're wrong," Edward interjected. "I do. I know this nice restaurant in Port Angeles, 'La Bella Italia.' Are you interested?"

Bella nodded. "Sure."

"Thank you," Edward told her.

Bella raised her eyebrows. "For what?"

Edward shrugged. "For saving me from a date with Lauren Mallory," he answered. He and Bella laughed softly. "So this weekend?" he suggested.

"Yeah," Bella agreed. "I'll… see you then." She turned to leave, but Edward caught her arm.

He let go quickly once he had her attention. "Just out of curiosity, do you even have nineteen hundred dollars?"

Bella smiled sheepishly. "I have sixty-two cents."

Edward chuckled. "If you wish, I could…"

"No, that's all right," she assured him, "I do have the money. But thanks." She looked at the ground awkwardly. "So, I'll see you…"

"Saturday."

"Saturday," Bella repeated with a smile. She turned and walked out of the cafeteria.

She was just reaching her truck when she heard her name being called.

"Bella!"

She whirled around and saw Edward running over to her. She looked at him quizzically. "Yes?"

"Just so you know," he lowered his voice, "you could've just asked me out for free." He gave her a teasing smirk before running off to his own car.

Bella watched him go, shock written all over her face. Just a week ago, the boy would give her a second look. And now he's implying that he's into her?

She couldn't help the smile creeping onto her lips.

If you were to ask Bella Swan what the best thing about boys is, she'd say how they never failed to surprise her.

--

**I didn't like this. But maybe someone out there did. Review if you're that someone, please! (;**


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